Yes, I watched it. And yes, I have seen the rest of them too. As I write this review, I’m still holding on to my Man Card as tight as I was when I ashamedly looked to the ground and mumbled to the guy in the ticket booth, “Two for Breaking Dawn, please”. My girlfriend was with me, thank goodness. The guy chuckled at me enough as it was, he’d seen my situation pass by him all day.

This is the fourth film in the tweenybopper crack cocaine (for “those people”, not me) that is The Twilight Saga, a soap opera-y drama about vampires, werewolves, and the girl they love – all of them acting with the world on their shoulders, as if every decision is life or death. I’m glad my high-school experience wasn’t like theirs.

Bella Swan is the girl, and Edward Cullen and Jacob Black are the men in her life. One’s a werewolf, one’s a vampire. She’s too good for the usual stereotypes, no jocks or nerds for her. Through the previous films the guys have fought for her attention, kicking and screaming and whining when they don’t get their way. Finally, Bella makes a decision. She will marry Edward Cullen the vampire. And so begins this film, the first of two parts. (What is that you say? They heard from Harry Potter that you can make more money like this? Is that why? Oooooooh.) We witness the wedding, which admittedly is quite stunning and beautiful, and all of the awkward moments that can happen when a human bride’s family meets the vampire family of the groom, we’ve all been there before. Then there’s the wild, room-wrecking, bed-crushing honeymoon that Bella can only recall in flashbacks. She’s bruised all over, but she assures an ashamed Edward that it was wonderful. It was for him too. So good was it for both of them that she realizes she is pregnant, something that neither of them thought possible, seeing as how Edward’s been dead for a few decades. But life finds a way…

…

(Read the full review @ mediaocu.com: http://mediaocu.com/2011/11/28/in-theaters-the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn-part-1/)

About these ads